Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Monument to Evilness

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero. I have a pair of high powered, miniature rocket launchers strapped at my belt, a flamethrower embedded in my forearm, ultra-xray super-molecular vision, the strength of one of the ancient titans - the big one - and a brain so incredibly brilliant I can think of a metaphor for my brain faster than you can say “My brain is so incredibly brilliant I can… Uh… thingy.” My super powers of breaking free of a large chunk of ice in which I am currently imprisoned are three hundred and fifty second to none.

Which brings me rather neatly to the situation at hand for, you see, I am currently frozen solid in a block of ice, Mr Enthusiasm similarly encased to my right, and the dastardly ms Bees Knees standing above me like a towering monument to immorality and evilness, blowtorch in hand, purposefully melting the ice that covers several strategic areas of my body...

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