It has come to my attention that some moron
is spreading lies and deceitful stuff about operating systems. There have even been rumours attributing this to myself. I, Henry the Adequate, superhero, cannot allow my good name to be sullied by such badness.
So, just to set the record straight, here is the definitive Operating System FAQ.How can I protect my Windows computer from Viruses, spyware, adware, malware?
Take a large, evil looking axe. Apply liberally. Spread remains of computer over hot coals and bake for two days. Microwave the Windows CD for several hours. How can I protect my Linux computer from Viruses, spyware, adware, malware?
Make sure there are no Windows computers withing a five mile radius. If there are, use the technique described above. A massive fire will also do the trick. Is Linux ready for the desktop?
Linux is something called "software". Your desk is a solid, usually wooden, object. I recommend some kind of varnish.Is Windows ready for the desktop?
You're just not getting this concept, are you. Perhaps if you had a superheroic brain... Can Microsoft be trusted?
What is a micro-soft? What about Trusted Computing?
You can trust me, I'm a superhero. Which is better, vi or Emacs?
Boy, you really do need some help with computer stuff. vi is just Roman for 6. What that might have to do with some kind of electronic burger is beyond even my magnificent brain.What is the best Linux news site?
www.google.comWhat is the best Windows news site?
www.stainedglasswindows.comShould I buy a Mac?
No. Buy some healthy food instead.Which is the best Linux distribution?
I think the best way to get Linux is on a CD of some kind. Sure, there are other distribution methods, but I don't know - call me a traditionalist - there's just something about opening a huge box and finding that tiny silver sliver of plastic. Magnificent.Which is the best version of Windows?
It doesn't matter. They all go equally well in the microwave.Should I say GNU/Linux, or just Linux?
It's spelled "new", dummy.Which BSD distribution is best?
I think you mean BSOD, and it is always a very bad thing.Should I use KDE, or GNOME?
Gnomes are evil little creatures. If you are infested with them I recommend some kind of fire. I don't know what a KDE is, but I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with Gnomes, or computers. Who wrote these questions anyway?Tell me about The Hurd.
It is something that happens when you have been drinking too much.The /home partition is getting full. How do I free up some space?
Toss out your mother in law.Should I try VMS?
That's not really something you volunteer for. Some women, and their husbands, suffer through it every month and anyway, what does that have to do with operating systems?What happened to those Weapons of Mass Destruction?
Um... I left them in my other jacket.