The Really Important Henry and June Post
"So, June, what's up?" I could have picked a better place for a meeting, but how was I to know that The Seediest Bar In Seedsville would turn out to be so seedy.
"It's Louise. I think there's something weird going on," June understates, as though she is going for the all-time understatement record or something. Saying that something weird is going on with my sister is the approximate equivalent of saying to a massively pregnant woman, "so, you're going to have a baby." ie: kind of redundant.
"You're not pregnant are you?"
"No!" June seems surprised at the question for some reason, "I think there may be a kind of strange supernatural presence that takes over her brain and making her do things."
"I understand completely," I reassure. Reassurance is very important when you're a superhero, because mere mortals are very fragile and stuff. Not to mention stupid, and more than slightly insane.
"No, not at all." You can only go so far with reassurance, after all.
But what is that? My super xray mega vision detects a shadowy figure in the corner wearing a dark coat, a hat and dark sunglasses who seems somehow to be projecting an air of dangerous watchfulness as (s)he peers intently at us. Just to the right of his/her table is the thing that is bothering me.
"... and then all of a sudden the presence is gone, and she is back to normal." June looks really worried, and may have just been speaking to me, but let's not go jumping to any conclusions. I nod wisely.
"Louise acting normal. That is very disturbing indeed."
"Excuse me for just a second." This has been going on long enough, and I must put a stop to it immediately. I stand and stride accross the room, purposefulness in every measured step. The shadowy figure heads for the exit, as though pursued by a furious superhero. But I will not be denied, or distracted. My axe rises and falls, rises and falls as I, the angel of vengeance, do satiate my wrath on the body of the beast.
The television shatters into a million tiny shards of its former wholeness. Damn those reality TV shows. I hate them. Hate hate hate. Anyway... "So, June, what were you saying?"
"I was saying that right in the middle of a chat Lou will jump up and start destroying things, then come back and continue the conversation as if nothing unusual has happened," she explains, a strangely inexplicable look of horror and dawning realization on her face. This is indeed interesting. Perhaps some kind of supernatural evil really is afoot. I wonder what else June can tell me. "But anyway, I must be going now..." She hurries nervously away like somebody with diarrhea who is miles from home and doesn't like public toilets.
I am about to go after her to find out what is wrong, but suddenly realize that there is an extremely urgent matter I must take care of at home, like, Right Now.