Henry and the Loonerizer Victim
"Excuse me... Um... Are you ok?"
"Sure. Why do you ask?" I can't quite place it but there is just something about her that suggests some kind of strangeness. Or maybe it's just me.
"Um, no reason.... Say... You haven't just been struck by some kind of loonerizer ray, have you? Because I think there might be a bit of that going around..."
"A what? I don't think so. What would that look like? Anyway, who are you and why don't you just sod off and leave me alone! As you can see from my expression I am very angry right now."
"Yes, angry, um...."
"Identify yourself, moron, and tell me where I might purchase a large chocolate elephant. My eyes are wobbly, and only chocolate elephants can fix that. Also, some monkeys stole my chamomile tea, the nasty furry little critters."
"I am Henry the Adequate, superhero, and I will retrieve your chamomile tea, because that is what I do!" I strike a superheroic pose of tremendous proportions. No doubt she is suitably amazed and awed.
"Is this some kind of bust?"
"Yes," I reply, "It is very impressive, but now I must be leaving." There is superhero work to be done. Also I can hear the lawyers of Abrahams, Zucker, and Zucker sharpening their subpoenas in anticipation, almost as though I have stolen their copyrighted material or something.