Sunday, April 02, 2006

Henry and the Loonerizer Victim

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

"Excuse me... Um... Are you ok?"

"Sure. Why do you ask?" I can't quite place it but there is just something about her that suggests some kind of strangeness. Or maybe it's just me.

"Um, no reason.... Say... You haven't just been struck by some kind of loonerizer ray, have you? Because I think there might be a bit of that going around..."

"A what? I don't think so. What would that look like? Anyway, who are you and why don't you just sod off and leave me alone! As you can see from my expression I am very angry right now."

"Yes, angry, um...."

"Identify yourself, moron, and tell me where I might purchase a large chocolate elephant. My eyes are wobbly, and only chocolate elephants can fix that. Also, some monkeys stole my chamomile tea, the nasty furry little critters."

"I am Henry the Adequate, superhero, and I will retrieve your chamomile tea, because that is what I do!" I strike a superheroic pose of tremendous proportions. No doubt she is suitably amazed and awed.

"Is this some kind of bust?"

"Yes," I reply, "It is very impressive, but now I must be leaving." There is superhero work to be done. Also I can hear the lawyers of Abrahams, Zucker, and Zucker sharpening their subpoenas in anticipation, almost as though I have stolen their copyrighted material or something.

Those bastards.


Blogger Lorraine said...

That's hilarious Ben...and she's quite funny. I might visit her sometime :)
if I have enough left inside, you usually fill my laugh a lot quota!

11:51 pm  
Blogger Jaws said...

Crazy stuff Man.. LOL Looks like you found Monkey Girl.

11:51 pm  
Anonymous Chase said...

HAHA! Fantastic!

I have no idea what you're talking about with the loonerizer, though. Doesn't everyone look like that?

2:39 am  
Blogger Ben said...

I promise to be really boring and un-funny for a while.

I do what I can.

lol Yes, everybody I know looks like that. I wonder why the walls are all so soft. I wonder when they're going to feed us.

7:00 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

good luck with that!

7:08 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

oh and great. Can you send work to me. I need it. Check my notooshabbystuff, just today's post.

10:04 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Well I guess you could translate the whole of Henry the Adequate. That ought to keep you busy for a few minutes.

10:18 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

You want you get! Then you'll have to create a 4th blog called Henry the Adequate...French version.
mmm First I'll work on the title, Well, Henry is Henri. Whew...Need a coffee Break!
Thanks, you are now officially my first big job client (the others were little jobs), you get big internet smooches...

11:23 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

lol Don't work yourself too hard.

4:38 pm  

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