Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Rather Carelessly Named Post

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

I wake, noticing several things almost immediately, due to my superior perceptiveness. The first thing I notice is that my head hurts. The second thing I notice is that much of the rest of me also hurts. Then it becomes apparent that I am outside, on the footpath, and that people are giving me some very strange looks, as though I have appeared from nowhere just like some kind of randomly appearing thing.

From this I deduce that perhaps I time shifted while unconscious, which might explain the lack of paramedics attending my wounds. Also, now that I mention it, there seems to be a lack of wreckage strewn about - specifically the wreckage of a massive mechanoid tank-like monster. I struggle to my feet, like a boxer who has just been knocked down, and possibly received a massive electrical shock.

"Excuse me," I approach a passing pedestrian, using all my powers of politeness, "Have you seem a massive mechanoidal monstrosity?"

"I am a deeply shallow person, now go away or I'll be fabulous at you," she replies, as though she is speaking to some kind of moron.

It is probably a good thing that she storms off at this point, since, you know, that was a slightly weird thing to say, in much the same way as "They hate our freedom" might be a slightly weird thing to say. Actually it wasn't quite that weird. I decide to try again.

"Excuse me. Have you seen a massive mechanoidal monstrosity?"

"Was it
simple yet complex, sane yet slightly unstable, evil yet almost too kind?" replies the guy with the strange skin condition. I wonder if I have accidentally wandered into the Nuttersville annual nutters convention.

"No, it wasn't like that at all."

"Sorry." He shrugs and continues on his way.

"Excuse me. Have you seen a massive mechanoidal monstrosity?"

"Henry!"

"Oh, hi June."

"As a matter of fact I did just see a weird tank-like thing. It was hideous. Truly hideous," June remarks helpfully.

"Really?"

"No, but I will look for one, if you like."

"Yes, that would be good." All of a sudden it occurs to me that I know the perfect place to continue my quest for knowledge. Well, certainly it would be no worse than this place is turning out to be.

I head for The Seediest Bar In Seedsville.

6 Comments:

Blogger carouselle10 said...

That June, what a kidder she is! ha ha ha ha

12:45 am  
Anonymous MsShad said...

Hmmm... I'm starting to think that Henry is a hallucinating, gutter drunk, and all these stories is in him mind.

5:29 am  
Blogger Ben said...

carouselle:
Yes, kidder, that must be it.

msshad:
No, that would be me.

7:33 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I

10:26 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Sorry, as a hallucinating gutter drunk the whole grammar thing just doesn't do it for me. (sorry, I).

10:58 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Sorry too, I babble when I'm nervous!

1:42 am  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home