Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Henry and The Evil Mind Control Mechanoid

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

There is something different about the gleaming silver robot that confronts me now. Perhaps it is the way the monstrous creature does not appear to be shooting at me with nasty looking blasters of some kind and the way its face appears to be capable of several rudimentary expressions, including hatred, despite, anger, fury, vengeance, and one that looks kind of slightly amused in a sneering sort of way.

"You humans are so pathetic - I hate you all. Morons!" sneers the silver one, its voice also carrying slightly more expressiveness than I have previously encountered.

"So, evil misanthropic mechanoid, do you believe you can defeat me this time?" I do my best superhero pose, which is really impressive, and stuff. "Let us do battle, then!"

"Ha! I will not. You are unworthy. Pathetic humanoid creature. Perhaps if you had some kind of brain implanted in your nasty organic skull, and got some real weapons, I might consider crushing you brutally, like a real warrior. But no, you persist in being who you are - worthless, beneath contempt, animal." Something strange is happening to me. With each hate-filled phrase I feel the energy melting from my body, like some really soft stuff melting on a really hot day. "But, no, you are a worm, an insect, a pathetic lowlife moron who is really bad at simile and would not know a metaphor if it bit him on the arse."

I struggle to bring my rocket-launchers to bear, but my arms lack the strength even for this. I defiantly engage my super powers of heroic banter, however all that comes out is "Bad... robot... thingy..." If feel the life slipping from me. I silently curse the evil mind-control ray that is sapping my strength, leaving me feeble and without even a hint of un-feebleness.

"Down, inadequate humanoid!"

I fall to the ground as though driven there by a large thing that is very heavy and has received a significant amount of assistance from gravity. Unconsciousness approaches, like a deep, dark pool of being-asleep-ed-ness... I slip, and drown, and am gone.

5 Comments:

Blogger carouselle10 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:42 am  
Blogger carouselle10 said...

No offense but I thought the robot said I hate you all. Mormons! Need to get my eyeglass perscription changed.

9:43 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Mormons can be morons too, presumably.

1:20 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Did she beat henry while on all four? Henry needs a little push in the adequate section

6:06 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

All will be revealed in the next installment. By "All" I mean "almost nothing".

10:11 pm  

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