Sunday, February 26, 2006

Henry Works It Out

"So," I think I have worked it out now, for sure, "What you're saying is you made me?"

"Apparently," agrees the rhyme lord, as though his plan is to tell me precisely what I do not wish to hear. Maybe if I try it again, but use some slightly different words, I will get a different answer.

"Right, then, this means that what I am today is all because of you?"

"Yes."

"And I have had these superpowers for most of my life because of that thing you did the other day with your rhyme powered time ship?" Because I am a superhero, with a tremendously powerful brain, it requires mere microseconds for me to work out precisely what is going on.

"That's right."

"Also at some point my brain is going to explode, which will most likely result in my death?"

"Um, yes, essentially, although, you know, not so much explode - more a kind of cascading neural failure."

"But the result would probably be the same?"

"Pretty much."

"So..." I can feel the amazing organic circuitry in my head ticking over like some delicious custard that is really good at thinking, "I don't get it."

"Um..."

"And, anyway, how do you explain my sister?"

"You have a sister?"

But enough of this foolishness. "You are wrong, rhyme lord! No mere mortal such as yourself is capable of tampering with the primal forces of Henryness!" I am about to explain to him the real origins of Henry when he suddenly vanishes in a puff of non-existence-ness. Or, more accurately, I am about to explain to him the real origins of Henry when I accidentally skip forward fifty-seven minutes. I have not yet mastered this new power, but I am learning to instantly recognize the extent and direction of the time displacement effect.

"Ah, you're back." He is in the doorway now.

"Silence fool!" I command commandingly, for I have just detected the merest hint of a massive erruption of concrete, steel, and glass, which may or may not be the result of the fact that my house has just exploded spectacularly, killing us both very dead.

11 Comments:

Blogger Sarah said...

as a superhero you might want to check this out http://www.seabreezecomputers.com/superhero/

funny blogs :) lol

11:32 pm  
Blogger carouselle10 said...

I can't wait to see how you get them out of the mess.
PS. There is no funnier blog. I've checked.

1:43 am  
Blogger SquareGirl said...

Good to see that Henry is working it all out.

1:56 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

DON'T you dare Ben Hay, I don't care how damn good you are, you cannot kill Henry!

ps And Carouselle's right, there is no funnier blog...

pss and I will no longer bitch at your extra long word verification

1:56 am  
Anonymous Brenza said...

I agree with carouselle, I like to see how you get them out of this mess..

4:34 am  
Blogger Blue Gal said...

This is a great way to attract babes, too.

5:14 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Sarah:
Thanks. I will.

carouselle:
You have read every single blog. That's impressive.

squaregirl:
Yes. It was inevitable though, because of Henry's cleverness.

lorraine:
I am busy working on a new improved Henry the Adequate. It will be funnier, stupider, and much much betterer.

Ok, that was bullshit. I have no idea what will happen next, and am too lazy to put any effort into it. Please leave suggestions in an unmarked envelope under that big rock down by the park.

brenza:
So would I :)

Blue Gal:
Yes, it is, but I would never misuse my fame that way. So... wanna root?

6:37 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Sarah:

I checked it out - yes I've seen that before. Quite clever. I considered emailing them to suggest they add Henry, but then I was too lazy and had some ice cream instead.

For those of you who can't copy and paste it is Here

6:40 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Work's getting to you isn't it...you're letting loose. Used to be some chick would comment that you're cute and you'd answer: and also I'm married. Now cute naked chick gets offer to shag. Fame, it does make head bigger.

7:12 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Lorraine:
Yes, I am now in big trouble. But, dammit, if William Shatner gets to shag the blue chicks then why the hell can't I?

7:28 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

LOL
Why not indeed, star-struck, star-trek, it's all good :)

7:43 am  

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