Friday, February 24, 2006

Henry Out of Time

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

Tonight I roam the streets looking for supervillains. But wait, it is suddenly morning. A guy walks straight into me.

"Jeez, sorry man," he says, "It's like you came out of nowhere, man!" He is gesticulating enthusiastically, a wild look of wildness in his eyes as though he is on drugs, or a scientologist. "You wanna do a personality test, man?"

My flamethrower roars its delightful melody, leaving barely a stain on the footpath. I am hungry. By some strange coincidence there is a pizza shop just across the road. I order a Super-Large Super-Duper Value Pizza, mostly because of the name. And the cheese.

Soon I am seated at a table in the corner, lifting the delicious cheesy pizzaness to my mouth, like a man who is really really hungry for pizza. Then I notice that aside from the slice I am holding my lunch appears to have disappeared. I am about to get up when suddenly there is another pizza, complete with a couple of rough looking chaps who are abruptly sitting at my table, and looking at me strangely - as though I have just materialized out of nowhere and seem to be stealing some of their dinner. Also, it is dark outside, again.

One of the men takes a swing at me, but before I have time to punish this no doubt evil person with my extreme superness he vanishes, along with everybody else in the shop. The lights are off, the doors locked. This time-shifting thing may have been slightly amusing to begin with, but now it is getting very serious. If I don't get some delicious cheesy comestibles soon I am going to incinerate that damn rhyme lord.


Blogger Lorraine said...

unacceptable...if my pizza disappeared or I disappeared from my pizza, I'd be pizzz' off

11:58 pm  
Blogger carouselle10 said...

You know this time shifting thing happens to me all the time and I've never even had my blood filtered through my temporal circuitry. I think someone is brainwashing me through this computer machine.

1:01 am  
Anonymous Brenza said...

This time shifting thing could be embarrassing.. Say you are at home sitting on the toilet. Next you could be sitting on the toilet on display at the hardware store with people standing around looking at you strangely. heh

3:20 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Yes, dammit.

Yes, no doubt that is what is happening.

This is time shifting, not space shifting, or at least not yet. But thanks for the idea.

7:07 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You need to just move on gracefully.

6:30 pm  
Blogger Laura said...

You really do have that sort of clever backwards humour in the style of Douglas Adams, Monty Python and etc. At times I have laughed out loud while reading the adventures of Henry.

11:17 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Thanks. But I am not backwards. I think good with my brain. I am even learning how to read a bit and count money.

8:26 am  

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