Friday, February 10, 2006

Henry on Pizza Patrol

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

I am battling evil. Well, not this second. I am seeking evil to battle. I am seeking in a direction that leads somehow inexplicably in the general direction of the best pizza shop in town. Ok, I am going out for pizza, but no no no it's not like that at all. I have encountered evil pizza shop proprieters before, and no doubt will again, so this is more of a business jaunt than anything else. And anyway, can't a superhero take a few moments out from battling the forces of evil?

Besides which, on the way I have managed to incinerate two diabolical mastermind supervillains, and a small cat. Well they might have been diabolical trees. And the cat may have been, well, a cat, but that was an accident. Accidents happen all the time, at least in my experience.

Suddenly I bump into a suspicious looking character. At first I am not certain what it is that has raised my superheroic senses to such a heightened state of suspicion, but then I realize that it is probably the gun he has pointed at me, and the way he seems to be demanding that I hand over all of my cash and also any breath freshener I might happen to have on me at the moment. Apparently he has a date.

Now this kind of situation is best handled with tact and tremendous subtlety because of the danger of injury not only to myself, but also to any bystanders that might be standing by, so I very subtly incinerate him with the flamethrower embedded in my forearm.

11 Comments:

Blogger carouselle10 said...

Dear sweet Henry. Always mindful of the residual casulties of the innocent bystander. That's my guy!

11:49 pm  
Anonymous keith said...

Unless the bystander happens to be a cat.

12:49 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Ben,
Do you take requests? 'cause I'd like to see a cat scratch Henry.

1:36 am  
Anonymous T said...

Damn, now I gotta find me a new date for the night!

4:00 am  
Blogger Ben said...

carouselle:
Yes Henry does indeed have a full mind.

keith:
That was an accident in every way, not just a figurative one, really. PS Cats are evil.

lorraine:
Good idea.

t:
For a second I thought you were also talking about the cat, and then I thought "no that would be slightly odd."

6:50 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Cats are not evil.

6:51 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Cats may or may not be evil. A cat's evilness at any given moment is directly proportional to a throw of the dice.

6:53 am  
Anonymous T said...

Yes absolutely slightly odd, as opposed to the completely normal and heroic behavoir of fire hosing down supervillians disguised as diabolical tree's. Those villians are getting mighty crafty. Thank God Henry is around, I pass tree's every day and wouldn't know the difference.

7:29 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Yes, **cough** well **cough** I'm sure Henry know what he is doing.

Sorry, I seem to have something stuck in my throat. Possibly words of some kind.

7:33 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I hope it's a fur ball...no wait I hope the cat's got your tongue :)

8:04 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

**groan**

11:59 am  

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