Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Henry is Revealed, Again.

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

I shudder as though my spine is leaking slowly from my rectum and pooling on the carpet, leaving a mess that will be really difficult to clean up in the morning, dammit.

But there is no carpet, and I am not home. The night is dark, and I am uncertain of location, or direction, or purpose. Sweat drips from me in rivulets of uncertainty. There is a vague awareness of shapes, as though the buildings are somehow cloaked in a shadowy nothingness that is beyond mere darkness, inhabiting as it does the realm of subconscious evil.

A crow lands nearby and offers itself as a guide, or possibly a meal. At this point I imagine I might be dreaming, but who am I to say which is real. Did I question the existence of giant chickens? Did I demand of the evil mutant gummi bears that they show credentials verifying their existence? Ok, I did that, and for some reason they failed to respond, as though they somehow were not real at all. But none of this is important now.

The important thing at this moment is that somebody called Pauline has apparently invited me to a party, and that I am now standing at the entrance, naked and shivering in the moonlight as party goers drink and make merry and laugh at my extreme nudity. This situation is remarkably familiar, for some strange reason, such that I begin to suspect that perhaps I am not dreaming after all.

I wake, screaming, then sigh with relief at the realization that it was indeed a dream, then sigh with resignation as I realize that I have been sleepwalking again, and that I am now standing naked outside some kind of party while a person whose name apparently is Pauline demands that I leave, though at the same time her eyes are fixed in wonder on my enormous manhood.

I need to take a leak.


Anonymous keith said...

At least Henry won't have to clean up the mess since he isn't at home.

12:50 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I thought men couldn't....never mind. Henry can do anything!

1:52 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Practical as always :)

No, I'm pretty sure men can sleepwalk.

6:26 am  
Blogger carouselle10 said...

*giggle* So Henry has big feet eh?

8:33 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Oh, yes, absolutely. It's a superhero thing.

11:45 am  

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