Friday, February 17, 2006

Henry Finding Trouble

"My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero. Would you like to see my rocket launcher?"

**SLAP** Apparently not.

"Would you like to see my rocket launcher?"

**PUNCH** Wow that guy is strong.

I am suddenly feeling quite sober, for some reason - not that I was drunk before. Oh, no, it will take much more than mere alcohol to affect Henry the Adequate, superhero. And, anyway, I am here on a mission, and will not be distracted from it. Hey, what was that.

"That?" slurrs some guy at the bar, "I think it was a honey badger."

"By all the gods it looks evil!"

"Oh, yes, they are quite ferocious," remarks the drunk, sounding not much like a drunk person after all. A quick chemical analysis using my super-powers of ultra-xray vision confirms that he is drinking water. This is extremely suspicious, particularly in The Seediest Bar in Seedsville. "They're very fond of honey though, so you will often find them around bees."

Bees! My head is suddenly spinning as though I have just been reminded of a particularly traumatic experience. (1,2,3) I am uncertain what that might be, but it matters not. Using my full powers of willpowerness I bring under control the abrupt sensations of doom, despair, and sexual ecstacy that have inexplicably swamped me, and drag my attention kicking and screaming back to the problem at hand.

It seems the problem at hand has vanished. Then I notice some people in the corner kicking and screaming at some kind of problem down about there feet. This must be the nasty fiend now. I approach cautiously, by which I mean that I stride purposefully into the center of the group and announce my presence by kicking at whatever it is they have been kicking at.

"Uh, sorry man," I back away diplomatically. The people I have previously sumised as kicking and screaming do stare at me in horror and a slight amount of furious agressiveness, as though they may have, in fact, been dancing and laughing. There is a slight possibility that the person I have just been kicking to a bloody pulp could in fact be a friend of theirs who has slipped over in a pool of beer, and not an evil honey badger hell bent on carnage of some kind. It is a mistake anybody could have made. "So, anyone wanna see my rocket launcher?"

16 Comments:

Blogger carouselle10 said...

Eh, if you've seen one rocket launcher you seen them all.

10:57 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

You're killing me...LOL what's the hockey expression when one player scores three times? Yah hooh, Ms. bees knees!!!

11:08 pm  
Blogger Ms Bees Knees said...

How about we make a deal, hm? I’ll show you my honey badger and you can show me your rocket launcher. Yes?

3:51 am  
Blogger Ben said...

carouselle:
Perhaps. :)

lorraine:
kill kill kill? Sorry, not familiar with hockey.

ms bees knees:
"Finally, somebody who wants to see my rocket launcher!" - Henry

7:51 am  
Anonymous Brenza said...

ok, ok, you convinced me, lets see this rocket launcher..

9:07 am  
Blogger Ben said...

You're not supposed to call my bluff.

2:13 pm  
Blogger SquareGirl said...

*SLAP!!!*

Sorry, I don't know what got into me.

4:41 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

It's what didn't get into you Square girl, oops sorry, the children you know. Kill, Kill, Kill, I think not Ben in French it's called "Le tour du chapeau" but I suppose that doesn't help!

7:36 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

squaregirl:
:)

Lorraine:
Not helpful in the slightest. :)

8:00 pm  
Anonymous keith said...

Hat Trick!

1:31 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Ah, as in cricket.

2:14 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Keith, my fellow Canadian, merci, thank you. The Hat Trick....for once the translation isn't totally out of this world. ;)

Cricket...that's like Hockey?

7:50 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Not even slightly. Nevertheless cricket is where the term "hat trick" originates.

8:15 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

mmmm and here I thought we only copied from the American... Let's do the Hussy,
that would be the Aussie, I believe..the French you know :)

9:08 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Mike Hussey

12:05 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

LOL
outdone....again

notice the kill?

11:23 pm  

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