Monday, February 20, 2006

Henry Dreams

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero, or possibly a rock lobster.

Timothy the reggae squid cruises on down to my octopus's's garden and says, in his reggae voice "Man, you've been watching too many crappy american movies."

I realize that this is true because suddenly I am in the happy-feel-good scene at the end of the movie, in which the teenage daughter learns a valuable lesson about life, and the parents learn to chill out, and we get the inevitable message about family and community and blah blah blah. I am uncertain why I play the teenage daughter in this scene. I reach for my flamethrower in a desperate attempt to end it all, but cannot move my arms.

"Foolish human! Did you think you could defeat us so easily?" I struggle against the chains that bind me, but it is no good - The Robot League of Chaos have me right where they want me, and there is no hope of escape. The shiny Robotic creature approaches a little closer, menacingly - like a particularly ferocious honey badger.

"Ha!" I argue eloquently, making my point very cleverly, I think. My breasts heave with furious emotion as I prepare for the inevitable. I am uncertain why I still have breasts, since this is no longer the happy-feel-good scene, and I am no longer the daughter. "So," I say to myself, turning my powers of suavitude to maximum, "you come here often?"

But there is no time for that. If I do not eat five more packets of gummy bears before the time runs out my sorority will lose the wager, and we will all have to run naked through the square on Monday. Damn those evil gummi bears. Damn them!

Of course if I lose that means I'll get to see my breasts...

6 Comments:

Blogger Lorraine said...

as suave as Bond, James Bond without the boobies!

11:32 pm  
Blogger Ali said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:12 am  
Blogger Ali said...

Your sense of humour is radical
keep up the awesome posts
=]

1:12 am  
Blogger Marti said...

Just what I needed to warm up my brain on a Sunday morning here in the freezing middle of America - thanks! LOL

4:38 am  
Blogger Ben said...

lorraine:
Henry is even better than Bond, because of the boobies.

comment deleted:
I like your nickname.

ali:
Thanks.

marti:
"Henry the Brainwarmer" I like that. Has quite a ring to it.

7:30 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

true Bond has to hire boobies..
Ok then.

11:19 pm  

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