Monday, February 13, 2006

Henry and the Rhyme Lord - part 19

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

"As I see it there are two possibilities." The rhyme lord is explaining to me the results of his research into the strange alien computer.

"Two. Fascinating."

"The first possibility is that this is a device so advanced that it can influence the reality-stream, causing quantum fluctuations in the time-space vortex."

"Um... Great!" My superheroic brain sprints into action, like an olympic sprinter springing into, um, sprinting action. Soon I will have a thorough analysis of this information. "So, fluctuations then," I enquire intelligently and with only a smallish quantity of lameness.

"In the time-space vortex, yes."

I always wanted to have a vortex doll, when I was a kid. Or was that Voltron? "But we can get another time-space voltron, right?"

"No." The doctor gives me a strange look, then continues. "The second possibility - the one that I favour - is that this reality exists as a program in a computer so advanced it is capable of modelling, well, all of this!" I look about. Yes, my home is pretty complex. "No, I mean the entire universe," he explains, using some kind of special mind reading powers.

I shrug. That doesn't sound so difficult or strange. No doubt I could whip up such a program myself, should I choose to.

"Furthermore I believe that this computer here," he pauses to indicate the the alien device, "is in fact the computer in which our reality exists."

"What, this old thing?" I give it a kick, in order to illustrate my superiority over the piece of alien technology. A shuddering, wobbling mass of twisted reality moves through the room at this moment, as though to illustrate the concept that kicking the computer might not be such a good idea.

"I've been thinking about it, and, as far as I can tell, there is no way this reality can deconceptualize as long as it contains its own container. Of course, I would also have said that it is impossible for this reality to contain its own container, so..." He shrugs a shrug loaded with meaning, and stuff.

"Yes, no doubt about it. The deconceptatrons cannot get us now." I wipe some more blood off my ear. Damn cats.

"What I'm trying to say, Henry, is that I believe you may have saved the universe."

"Cool." That is a relief. I thought he was going to tell me I had broken it again.

5 Comments:

Blogger carouselle10 said...

Henry does it again! Hooray for Henry.
Ben , you are the king of the nonsense language. No doubt about it!

12:36 am  
Anonymous T said...

"If the world is merely a software program, then Henry indeed is its Easter Egg".

I think I read that in a book somewhere.

3:00 am  
Blogger Ben said...

carouselle:
Yes we are indeed lucky to have a superhero like Henry around. Sometimes nonsense is the only sense there is. (now how's that for nonsense :) )

t:
Yes I think I read that too. Brittanica, wasn't it? Somewhere really important, anyway.

6:54 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

What happened to my comment? did you delete me again Ben? It was bare nun, the most something ever!

7:16 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

No, I didn't delete any comments on this post.

7:09 am  

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