Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Wisdom of henry #39

The governments of earth have been taken over by evil aliens who love to eat healthy human brains for dessert. Get drunk, smoke pot, take some LSD, and slam your head repeatedly into a brick wall. It's your only hope.

8 Comments:

Blogger SquareGirl said...

I've always been two steps ahead of the aliens, which is why I've been doin all that stuff you said for years.

1:52 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

phew glad I didn't vote ...
Happy Australian Day, Ben :)

4:44 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Ben Hay
Contact: Leave comments on blog

Linguistic Profile: English, Aussie (Mate never Dude)

Summary of Qualifications
. Exceptional ability to quickly master new software and change ribbons
. Adept in intergrating a number of short dialect into a completely incoherent whole
. Extremely thorough in working with horrific details and able to extract the most irrelevant story lines.

Professional Accomplishments;

Technical Expertise
. Writes software and changes printer ribbons
. Programs and analyses things he says
. Working on liking technical stuff like :target=blank" and javascript equivalent
. Ability to edit in Firefox on Lesbian (or something that sounds like that)
. Edits alot and gets Internet server error.

Creative Endeavours
. Created a character named Henry the Adequate, a superhero
. Special talent for relating well with people of diverse blogs
. Creative and resourceful in making Henry unsolve problems that weren't there to begin with.
. Broad perspective on creative ways to repeat his stories repeatedly without bloggers knowing (or so he thinks)
.Outstanding writing styles that cracks bloggers up
.Good looking and reminds women bloggers constantly of his married state (ooops should be in interest)
. Versatile and adaptable (reference: blogger Ms. Bees. Knees.

Communication
. Has character Henry the Adequate say the most inane things as elaborately as possible
. Sometimes responds to comments on his blog, sometimes not.
. Moves bloggers to new levels of misunderstand with inconsistent, impractical results.

Interests
.Crocodiles
.Being naked
.Waving at people
.Making fun of people, before they make fun of him

References:
Chooses not to name them in case they read this.

5:32 pm  
Anonymous T said...

They sound like a few of my relatives...have you been talking to Uncle Fred?

2:31 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

or, you could become aN ACTIVIST AND not WASTE YOUR LIFE AND ENERGY ON DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. hOW ABOUT A POSITIVE ALTERNATIVE THERE hENRY?

8:10 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Squaregirl:
Keep up the good work.

Lorraine:
Thanks. I'll keep a copy of that for my next job application. :)

t:
lol Not that I know of.

Anonymous:
That doesn't sound very funny. Perhaps I could just have Henry talk about activism while getting pissed.

3:11 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Just take the part about being naked out, it's not professional

1:53 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Yeah that's a good idea.

7:28 am  

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