Sunday, January 01, 2006

The Wisdom of Henry #24

It is very easy for your computer to get a virus, so make sure you wear one of those surgical masks at all time while using it. They are also apparently very susceptible to worms, so once a month, or whenver it seems to be using a lot of electricity, just shove a worming tablet into the floppy drive, give it a good shake, then reboot three or four times in order to spread the medicine through the system.

Another thing that can really help keep your computer healthy is heat. As we all know, high temperatures kill many bacteria, so unplug all case fans, turn the system on, then use a hair dryer to blow as much hot air as possible through it. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

Trust me, I'm a superhero.


Anonymous MsShad said...

I have been waiting and waiting for #24 because it is NASCAR's favorite driver, the most popular and famous and all that. And I was so hoping I'd even understand Wisdom #24.

Soo... how do you explain that my computer has never had a virus, and I've never worn a surgical mask ever in lo, all these several years?

Hmmm? Superhero?

3:22 am  
Anonymous Miss Ann Thrope said...

That's excellent advice. I'll have that copied and distribute it to the next idiot, um, person who asks me to fix their computer.

4:31 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Has Henry been dewormed? might make a difference to his superpower...

4:47 am  
Blogger annie said...

Wow! You ARE a superhero! You're in the future, 2006!

6:53 am  
Anonymous mu-tiger said...

No! Absolutely NOT! You are not allowed to skip a day, hungover or not. ;)

5:53 am  
Anonymous keith said...

msshad : you must have a box of norton anti-virus in the same room as your computer...

1:59 am  
Blogger Ben said...

msshad: Keith is correct. No doubt there is a Norton Antivirus box somewhere nearby. Sometimes it can even protect computers in the house next door, depending on the prevailing sub-ethereal vibrations.

Miss Ann: Proper computer maintenance is very important. Sometimes I give mine a good soaking in a bath of yak's milk, which is very good for the computer's neural pathways, not to mention it's complexion.

Lorraine: Henry does not get worms, because of his superness.

Annie: You guys are just so 2005.

mu-tiger: Don't get hangovers if you just keep drinking.

Keith: You are indeed wise.

9:45 pm  

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