Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Henry and the Rhyme Lord - Part 7

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

"Ok, Doctor Smarty Pants, if the past cannot be altered, then what's the point having rhyme lords, and how come you thought I could help you when we first met, and what about self-determinism since all people exist in the past relative to somebody else?"

"It's complicated," he explains, thereby cleverly avoiding a major plot inconsistency, "The laws of time are not absolute. There are loopholes."

"Take me home, Doctor What, for I have a plan." And it is a good plan too. An excellent one. It will work, of this I am certain. We step out of the time machine in my flat a few moments later. All is as it should be. I grab a mostly-full bottle of something extremely alcoholic. "Drink?"

"Thanks." He accepts the glass and we sit. "So, what's the plan then?"

"Sorry?"

"Your plan, what is it?"

"This," I explain carefully, for clearly he is a little bit thick, "is the plan." I show my glass by way of explanation, and drain a good portion of it. "This, and many more like it." Well I don't tell him the whole plan, but the alcohol is a very important part of it, possibly the most important. Certainly it is seeming more vital with each passing drink.

"Oh." The Rhyme Lord drains his own glass. "As good as any other, I suppose."


"Now!" It is several hours later, and I stand steady as a rock while rocking gently from side to side, and as sober as a judge, and as pissed as a parrot. Fortunately I am too drunk to notice the many inconsistencies in the previous sentence. "Now, for the next part of the plan!" The Doctor has passed out. No matter. I will venture forth alone to face the task ahead. A superhero is always alone, really, and anyway... anyway... there was supposed to be something after "anyway".

I roam the footpaths looking for a fight, a prostitute, and an STD clinic, in that order. Yes, I am Henry the Adequate, superhero, and I have a plan.

4 Comments:

Anonymous mu-tiger said...

"A superhero is always alone, really, and anyway..."

Yes. Anyway. =)

Welcome back, Henry. <3 (i hope the wysiwyg doesn't parse out my ascii heart.)

2:36 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Ah, I just thought you were giving me some kind of score of "less than three" on some unspecified scale that presumably everyone else except me knows about.

8:19 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

>10<11, you're the man

8:49 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

As of now I'm the absent man for 4 or 5 days. Will try to post new episodes, but will not be able to respond to comments.

cu l84
<=MAXINT

10:27 pm  

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