Monday, January 09, 2006

Henry and the Rhyme Lord - Part 6

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

We are in the grocery store, waiting for me to fall from a strange shimmering nothingness and inadvertently destroy the multiverse. Suddenly, from two aisles over there is a blackness, a thudding as of somebody falling heavily to the ground and jarring his elbow, thus discharging a multiverse-destroying weapon This is followed immediately by a masive discharge of multiverse-destroying energy.

"Of course, it was aisle six. Back to the time machine!"

We are in the grocery store again, in aisle six this time, waiting for me to fall from a strange shimmering nothingness and inadvertendly destroy the multiverse. Right on schedule the ceiling forms into a black shimmering nothingness that is the strange pan-dimensional portal. As though in slow motion I see myself falling though the portal. This is due to my superhuman senses and my extra-super speed reflexes, and has nothing at all to do with any weird kind of time-dilation effect I may or may not be experiencing.

Anyway, as my previous self falls he loses control of the quantum particle accelerator and it goes spinning away to the right. This is not how I remember it happening - as far as I can recall I jarred my elbow while holding the weapon, thus causing it to discharge. Weird. But there is no time to contemplate my mental deficiencies. The device must have fired when it struck the ground. I leap with all the power and speed of my magnificent superhuman muscles, my hand grasping it mere inches from the floor. Relief floods my brain an instant before my elbow strikes the floor jarringly, causing the device to discharge with a brilliant flash of energy.

"I hate to tell you this," remarks the Rhyme Lord as we head for the time machine once again, "but that kind of accelerator cannot operate unless it is being held by a living being."

"So if I hadn't grabbed it..."

"Yes."

"Damn."

We are in the grocery store again, waiting for me to fall from a strange shimmering nothingness and inadvertently destroy the multiverse. I note with some interest that repeating the same paragraph over and over is much easier than writing new stuff. Suddenly, from two aisles over there is a blackness, a thudding as of somebody falling heavily to the ground and jarring his elbow, thus discharging a multiverse-destroying weapon This is followed immediately by a masive discharge of multiverse-destroying energy.

"But..." I am shocked and stunned, my super-brain-powers churning into overload like an overloaded super-brain. I check and double-check. This is definitely aisle six. "But..."

"Law of conservation of reality," explains my companion annoyingly, "Attempts to change the past result only in changes that server to prevent any significant alteration in the time line. Did I mention that this is never going to work?"

8 Comments:

Blogger Lorraine said...

mmm...I have to go and read this again

11:11 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Ok, I get it now...did aisle six send you ahead to February? or ta dum... maybe time accelerated just for Henry...aaaahhh poor Ben

11:24 pm  
Anonymous T said...

Ok so now I'm waiting for a Wookie and a sex scene...hope they don't both show up at the same time.

5:26 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Lorraine: It's complicated. Perhaps I can explain it by drawing a diagram on this piece of paper here...... did that help?

t: You'll be pleased to know there is currently no wookie in the sex scene, but you've given me an idea...

6:54 am  
Anonymous T said...

Uh oh...watch out for the big fly swatter coming up from the ground!

9:31 am  
Blogger Ben said...

lol yeah. Damn those giant fly swatters.

10:58 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

It looks like a diagram from Sutra...Did you really do that?

6:39 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

No, I just can't draw.

10:49 pm  

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