Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Great Battles of Henry #2

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

The dastardly foe darted about the room like a blindingly fast and extremely agile dart. My massive fists swung with all the power at their disposal, which was a lot. Really a lot. I mean, I don't like to brag or anything, but my powers of bludgeoning are beyond the wildest dreams of mere mortals such as yourself. Why once I crushed a whole packet of chips with a single mighty blow.

Anyway, my massive fists swung repeatedly with all the power at their disposal, but somehow could not manage to connect with the evil adversary, even though my super-speed powers are unmatched by even the mightiest of road runners, and even though my predictively autofocusing powers of prediction can anticipate the wiliest of coyotes.

"Damn!" I activated the flamethrower that is embedded in my forearm, and raked it about the room with grim determination, yet still the quarry evaded the deadly unevadableness of my relentless assault.

The enemy flew out the window as though it realized that I would soon be successful in my unrelenting, or possibly it flew out the window to escape from the building that had now burst into flames for no readily apparent reason. Either way, I followed, for I am Henry the Adequate, superhero, and never will allow an enemy to escape my righteous crusade for goodness. Then with a final burst of plasma the evil creature was engulfed and incinerated, and there was not a trace of its passing, save that of memory.

I really really hate flies.

9 Comments:

Blogger Lorraine said...

You destroyed a whole bag of chips, that's just plain wrong!

11:48 pm  
Anonymous msShad said...

But with a single blow, so hopefully the chips didn't suffer.

3:12 am  
Anonymous Keith said...

Maybe Henry needs a flyswatter embedded in his other arm.

3:35 am  
Anonymous T said...

Heh....combined RR and Coyote skillset...that IS impressive. I'd like to see Henry work his way out of the slow motion falling scene with an anvil in hot pursuit lol.

5:02 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Brilliant comments one and all. I don't feel a need to respond because they are so damn good, and because I am so damn lazy.

7:50 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Were they ketchup chip? then it's ok...
and also, what happened to and also? I've grown fond of them!!!

12:00 am  
Anonymous T said...

Don't get too over confident :)

3:24 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Lorraine:
They were Steak and Onion flavoured chips. Really tough steak, which makes the feat even more impressive. And also, I have nothing else to add.

t:
Too late I fear. Now I must go and finish a story - Henry must somehow escape from a falling anvil.

7:29 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

yark and also thank you :)

6:21 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home