Sunday, January 22, 2006


The Grand Controller can tell that something is up. He detects it in the faces of his underlings, in their transparent attempts at avoiding his presence, and in the sirens blaring the emergency signal, wailing the same despairing shriek he will no doubt soon be hearing from the underlings when he has them brutally tortured and executed for whatever it is they have now allowed to happen.

"Master," a sub-controller approaches fearfully, and hands over a document. "Overseers report a disturbing, um, disturbance."

"Summarize," commands the Grand Controller, barely glancing at the report.

"An individual materialized in the hall via some form of time travel device, and stole the only operational universe we have."

"What!" How could this happen? The Grand Controller spins and stares at the great hall through his transparent outer wall. This hall stood for an eternity, and has never been breached. It could not be breached, existing as it did behind the most deviously cunning unreality barrier ever devised.

"That's not all." Apparently the sub-controller is still here. "Preliminary analysis suggests that the thief originated in the universe he stole, and that he returned there." There is a brief moment of relief as the Grand Controller realizes that the hall was not breached from without, then comprehension, horror, rampaging disbelief.

"That's impossible!" No matter how incredibly complex it may be a universe cannot escape the system, cannot cause any particle of itself to exist beyond the bounds of the quantum computer in which it is encapsulated. And for the thief to escape back to his own reality, which is itself within the computer, taking the computer with him? When dealing with quantum realities it is not always wise to attempt to define the possible, but still, some things are clearly, well... "Impossible. The computer cannot be within itself."

"Yes, Grand Controller." The underling knows better than to contradict his master.

"Get me the head of IT, now."


Anonymous T said...

Ha! I've always wanted the head of IT on a silver platter!

12:57 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Thanks for confusing my confusion Ben, no else does it better!

3:45 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Yes, damn those IT guys.


7:49 am  
Blogger SquareGirl said...

I alwyas knew IT had a head!!

5:14 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Alas head is one thing most IT guys can only dream about. Or so the cliche goes. But never let the truth get in the way of a good story, and all that.

7:12 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Oh Ben, why did you bring that up? I used all of my willpower to keep my comment, hum, headless...I mean clean

8:33 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Couldn't resist. Sorry.

10:51 pm  

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