Henry's Windows XP Linux review
I am also an expert on all things computer related. Now I am going to test Microsoft's brand new operating system, Windows XP. I am very excited about this because I have heard it is the best Linux distribution available today.
Getting Windows XP
This guy in a fancy suit comes up to me in the street and threatens legal action if I do not give him four hundred dollars. The flamethrower embedded in my forearm roars into action, reducing him to a small pile of sticky ash on the sidewalk. Somehow this CD has rolled free, so I take it home with me.
I don't have a spare computer to install this fine operating symptom on. I consider using my laptop but it has really important stuff on it that I don't want to risk losing. Instead I break into the neighbour's house, grab some cold pizza from the fridge, and settle down at his computer.
The computer is small, black, and has some writing on the front of it. The brand name appears to be DVDRW, whatever that means.
When I get there the computer is already running, so I pop the CD in and restart the system by pulling the power cable from the back and re-inserting it. This is a much faster way of restarting that I have just discovered. If you were a superhero you'd be able to think of clever things like this too.
It says "Press any key to boot from CD". After careful consideration I determine that the best key to press would be the spacebar. There's a few blue screens with stuff written on them, then it gets to this one that says "Welcome to Setup". I press Enter to make it go away.
Next I come to what's called a "Windows XP Licensing Agreement". It is weird. I do not understand it at all, so I phone my legal guy and read it out to him. Some time later he calls back and explains to me exactly what the license means.
I remove the CD, and microwave it for several minutes. Meanwhile there is the sound of metal being violently torn asunder as I use my superhuman strength to rip the neighbour's computer open and in a deep and unfathomable rage do destroy each component in turn by crushing them with my bare hands, after which I use my psycho-electric powers to reduce what remains to a bizarrely twisted lump of semi-molten slag. Perhaps the house is also contaminated. I burn it to the ground, just to be sure. Am I being too cautious? I think not.
Using Windows XP
Are you out of your mind?
This CD is extremely dangerous. Destroy on sight and sterilize the immediate area with a great big beautiful fire.
Henry advises extreme caution.