Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Henry's Day After

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

It is good to be home. Back in my own bed I sleep the sleep of the righteous who may or may not have just destroyed an infinite number of universes. Oh there are a few strange dreams about chickens, and eternal gratitude, and such, but the mind of Henry is at ease for the first time in many days.

Morning, I go into my world and walk the streets with a big smile on my face, spreading sunshine and happiness about me. Children are playing in the streets. Birds are singing. Everything looks fresh and new and unlikely to be invaded at any moment by hoardes of robots and their humanoid minions. I see some hoodlum breaking into a car. "Greetings criminal scum!" I enthuse enthusiastically, "Isn't it a lovely day."

"Oh, no, this is my car. I locked the keys in..."

"Oh forgive me citizen," I beam beamingly, "I seem to have mistaken you for the lowlife that you are." These criminal types are always trying to trick me, but I am a fool who belongs to nobody.

Because I am in such a good mood, and also because my ultra-xray-vision shows that the car's registration papers match his licence, I let the criminal off with a warning. Ok, not so much of a warning as an on the spot fine. Ok, so he pays me to go away.


Blogger Lorraine said...

How do you do it? It's so flippin' brilliant!!! you beat up your co-workers?

mmmm I can almost feel you comment: All good questions !!!


1:45 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:45 am  
Blogger Ben said...

No I do not beat up my co-workers. In fact, ever since the staple-gun incident of of '95 I am not allowed to have co-workers. The company maintains a seperate building, just for me.

They'd have had me fired and arrested, except for certain files I have in a nice safe place.

Of course the above is bullshit. I have no co-workers because I work in a dank dungeon surrounded by computers.

6:52 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...


7:06 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Yes, well I will have my revenge. One day.

7:24 pm  

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