Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Henry to the Rescue

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

I have spotted June and Louise - of this I am finally certain. They are having coffee. Louise has one hand under the table, as though hiding some kind of weapon. Her other hand covers June's. I decide that the direct approach is the best, and sit myself down opposite my sister.

"Henry," Louise smirks her evilest grin at me. June pulls her hand from beneath Louise's with a strange and unexplainable look of embarassment.

"Don't worry June," I reassure, "I will rescue you from the evil Dizzy."

"Rescue?" Louise laughs a hearty and long, "Henry you are indeed a moron of legendary proportions."

"Huh?" I say, then intelligently expand on this with "Um..."

"Oh," I say, as I suddenly calculate, using all of my magnificent intellect, that something may be going on between these two. Perhaps the fact that my sister is now kissing my sidekick is also indicative of something or other that I had not anticipated. "So..."

"You must have noticed," Dizzy sounds incredulous for some reason I am currently unable to fathom. But how the hell was I to know? Sure I have observed with some concern over the last week or two that June seemed to need a tremendous amount of mouth-to-mouth from Louise. Maybe it was a little bit strange, but you can't go leaping to conclusions just on a tiny little bit of evidence like repeated bouts of tongue wrestling. Perhaps June has a saliva deficiency, or keeps falling into pools that I can't see and almost drowning and then being dragged out and dried with super super human speed so fast that not even I can see it and then the only bit I see is the mouth to mouth and therefore it would be wrong for me to jump to conclusions.

"But June, she is evil! Do you not know of her hidious Santa Clones, and the secret plot to enslave the children!" Suddenly they are both giggling like lesbian school girls. "What?" They laugh some more for a while.

"So, there's no evil Santa Clones?"


Anonymous MsShad said...

but...but... if you're such a Super hero, why wouldn't you be seeing these waters that June is falling into that she may be almost drowning in?

That was a glaring omission in my eyes, but perhaps you're rattled?

2:26 am  
Anonymous Miss Ann Thrope said...

Jeez, msshad, he was looking for evil Santa clones. Give a guy a break. he may have super powers but so far I haven't heard anything about eyes in the back of his head...though I thought he had super psychic powers.

Hmmm...maybe Henry is afraid of drowning and wussed out?

2:56 am  
Blogger Ben said...

I think we must all remember at this point that while Henry is infallible, you are not, and also that any plot inconsistencies you may be experiencing are merely a figment of your fragmentation.

I have a lot of experience explaining away plot inconsistencies, because there are so many of them.

6:38 am  
Anonymous MsShad said...

Consider me corrected!

1:38 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

It keeps me matter what I conclude about Henry, I'm always wrong. If I could just break through the cycle of fragmentation.

4:59 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Yes, life is complicated.

6:29 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

mmm...indeed. Let me know if Henry ever needs a nine to fiver, I do a mean résumé!

7:20 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

I think Henry should get a job selling computers, since he is such an expert. However he is really far too dedicated to superheroing for that.

9:43 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home