Monday, December 26, 2005

Henry Goes to Church

"My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero."

"Um..." The priest guy looks a bit confused at something I have said, "How can I help you, Henry."

So this is what a church looks like. It is a kind of a building with statues and various graven idols and things. After the events of last night I find myself strangely drawn to this place. "I need to speak with God immediately." I am determined, and will not take no for an answer.

"All are welcome to pray here, Henry," he smiles strangely, as though about to go for my neck, or my wallet.

"So," I reply with some surprise, "I don't need an appointment?" This God guy sure is efficient.

"Appointment?"

"So where is he?" I look around for some kind of holy office or something.

The church guy suddenly looks very serious. "My son," he says with much seriousness, even though he is not my dad, "Are you taking the piss?"

I do my best Clint Eastwood squint. Is this person trying to obstruct my justicing? "I have some very serious questions for God, and if you are not going to bring him out here right now then I will have to believe that you are accessorizing, and that would probably go very badly for you, Church man."

"God exists in you, Henry," he says warily, while backing slowly away. I briefly consider turning the flamethrower on myself, but eventually determine by virtue of my super-duper xray vision that God does not in fact exist in me. Also, many of my bits hurt, possibly because of the whips and chains and probes and things. Fortunately last night was not a complete loss - I did manage to pump Ms Bees Knees subtley for information during the whole ordeal, and now have a very good understanding of the state of the underworld, or possibly the S&M scene, at this moment.

No doubt God slipped out the back way while his lackey here kept me busy. Damn those clever supernatural beings.

4 Comments:

Blogger Lorraine said...

Henry finally has a sin to confess: He has unwilling but pleasurably joined the dark side. But where is God? Maybe he should consult with Ms. Bees Knees.

8:43 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Dare I hope for some Henry action on Ms. Bees K?
I'll be looking for it

9:28 pm  
Blogger Ms Bees Knees said...

oh you "pumped" me alright. GOD i *do* love a man in tights.

1:17 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

**clears throat**
Keeping in mind of course that Henry is fiction, and ficticious, and a moron, and that I only steal others' characters and stuff because I'm too lazy and incompetent to invent any of my own, and keeping in mind that, you know, to the degree that ms Bees Knees is a real person there has been no pumping whatsoever, and that the character Henry is reputed to have pumped is a copy of a persona projected onto the intraweb by the real Ms Bees Knees, whoever she may be... keeping all of that in mind, you're welcome.

2:04 pm  

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