Friday, December 30, 2005

Henry and the Rhyme Lord - Part 3

"Do not mess with me, evil minion of chaos, for I am Henry the Adequate, superhero!" I release my choke hold a little so he may speak, though for some reason he chooses to use the reprieve for breathing instead. "Speak, worm."

"The tardis is a hyperdimensional time/space machine, capable of moving anywhere and anywhen in any of the multitude of universes."

"Get to the bit about the pizza shop," I prompt subtley by jabbing him in the ribs with the flamethrower embedded in my forearm.

"We have moved ten thousand years into your past," he explains.

"And..." I set a nearby tree on fire, just to show that I am serious.

"... and the pizza shop has not," he admits with some aprehension, as though he is being menaced with a deadly flamethrower by some kind of madman in externally fitted underwear, then goes on quickly, like someone who is convinced he is about to be brutally incinerated. "But I can take you home, really. The problem is not movement in this universe."

"So what is the problem," I prompt furiously, my cheesy-consumable withdrawls only slightly assuaged by the news that he can return me to my own time. I have important world-saving and supervillain fighting to attend to and all of this dilly-dallying about in time-space paradoxes is rather tiresome, and probably infringes on any number of copyrights, not to mention patents, and anyway, what does this have to do with me? "And what does it have to do with me?" I add for good measure.

"The problem is that whenever I try to dimension-shift into a different reality we just get thrown to some random time in this one. It's extremely frustrating, almost as though all of the other universes have ceased to exist, somehow."

"Oh... Um...." Now this is embarassing.


Blogger Lorraine said...

RWL (roaring with laughter) LOL has become too lame

11:45 pm  
Blogger Ben said...


2:07 pm  

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