Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The Fourth Day of Christmas

Beeep. "Henry, this is June. I've discovered an important clue. Call me."

Beeep. "Henry this is Louise. Just calling to let you know that we are enemies again, and that you are a moron. I will crush you and banish goodness via my new plot to subvert the world's children with fake Santas."

Beeep. "Henry, this is mum. You're never home. Please call me, and look after your sister."

Beeep. "Mr Adequate, this is Sonja from the library calling to remind you that you have a book called Boobie Anal Porn Splash Extreme, which is now six months overdue. Please return it immediately together with the eight hundred dollar restocking fee."


Anonymous Miss Ann Thrope said...

I'd keep the book and just move and/or use my super hero projectile erasing powers to alter the library databse.

PS: Can you teleport some good porn my way?

7:15 am  
Blogger Ben said...

That's a good idea, but the only reason Henry borrows porn from the library is because he likes to hear strange women saying things like "anal" and "boobies" on the phone.

Of course he is too proud to call those phone sex lines. Or he doesn't know about them.

Sorry but Henry does not own any porn. I, on the other hand, have bucket loads of the stuff. Unfortunately I do not have a teleporter. Hang on while I email you the internet. It is mostly porn.

7:53 am  
Blogger Lorraine said...

LOL, I love this one. Merry Christmas Ben!
x (for Henry)

7:04 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Thanks Lorraine.

7:23 pm  
Anonymous Miss Ann Thrope said...

Hey! Thanks for the internet mail. Do you think cum-guzzling lesbian anal is real? Or is it just impossible?

1:45 am  
Blogger Ben said...

I'm inclined to go with impossible, for obvious reasons, but I might really really wish it to be real.

6:25 am  

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