Henry's Damn Ubuntu Review
I am also a computer genius, and a Linux Guru (notice the capitals - this denotes an official status). So, following up on my Damn Small Review, here is my review of the brilliant new Ubuntu 5.10.
Some long-haired hippie type comes up to me in the street and says "Ubuntu, man."
"Yeah, well, up yours too!" I respond. Jeez agressive people really are the pits.
"No, man, Ubuntu!" He hands me a CD. He must be a foreigner. Probably a spy. Hey, this might be some information about a secret Russian weapons program that he's trying to give to our government.
"Thanks, comradski." I hurry home immediately after I've finished beating the crap out of the hippie. Damn I hate foreigners.
The CD is round and has stuff written on it.
So my brand new Pentium Supercomputer doesn't seem to be working that well at the moment, however some guy just gave me a Dell Poweredge 2300, which must be really good because the case is so big, and black, and 2300 is a really big number. It has some lights and buttons and things on the front, and makes a lot of noise when you turn it on.
I start the computer with the CD in (see my Damn Small Review for instructions on how to do this).
There's a pretty Ubuntu screen, then I keep hitting Enter for a while. Then I'm at this screen called "Partition Disks". There's a lot of really technical looking stuff about "Logical Volume Manager" and RAID and stuff that I won't bore you with now because I know you don't have super intellects like me, but one of the options is "Guided partitioning." That sounds good. I hit enter and I get a screen with only one option "Manually Edit Partition Table". This option takes me back to the previous screen.
My eyes start to boggle a little bit, and my head feels as though there are ants crawling around inside it. In order to relieve the tension I attack the computer for a while with a big axe.
Then some guy on IRC says "modprobe megaraid, dude". I find out his address using my super-psychic powers then go around and hack him to pieces with my axe because there's nothing more annoying than an adult who says "dude". Actually it turns out he's a kid, but what the hell.
Back home again I notice some guy has responded to the dude-saying one. "STUPID NOOB. MEGARAID IS BROKEN IN THE BREEZY KERNEL." He should show a little respect for the recently deceased, damn him. [Note to self: Seek out this Colonel dude, and find out what he knows.]
"Huh, WTF." I reply, because that's what most of the people on these forums seem to say. Not too sure what it means, but apparently it is very effective.
Some other guy who doesn't type in caps comes on and tells me that the CD I have won't work on that computer. Doesn't matter now anyway, since the computer has been smashed into tiny little pieces with a very large axe.
So far I have been unable to recover any espionage stuff from this "Ubuntu" CD, but as I'm sure you're all aware by now Henry the Adequate is not one to give up easily, unless I really want to.
Fortunately some guy just gave me something called a "Pentium three" so stay tuned for Henry's Damn Ubuntu Review, Part Two, "The Hippie's Revenge".