Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Henry Through the Looking Glass

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

Using my mega-strength I thrust the massive door aside effortlessly. We creep into the warehouse, our senses tuned to the slightest indication of other-worldly presence. "I'm still not quite sure I get the connection, Dizzy."

"You're a moron, Henry." Louise explains helpfully, while somehow failing to shed any light on the situation.

June is even more helpful. "Um, Henry, the robotics shop, Puppeteer Joe's, and that other warehouse all belonged to the same guy - the same guy that owns this one." The other warehouse. I recall our epic battle against the forces of darkness - a battle so intense and crucial to the future of humanity that we had to do it three times.

"Uh... so this Joe Sprocket guy...".

"Yes, that's right." June nods cheerfully.

My gigantic brain goes to work on the problem, sorting and analysing all of the miniscule droplets of information as they pour in a raging torrent before my magnificent lobes. "So, what's the connection then?"

"Joe Sprocket owns all four properties."

"Surely that's just coincidence," I don't like to jump to conclusions, especially when the fate of the planet is at stake. "Anyway, there doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary here..."

Louise indicates a shimmering mass of blackness where the ceiling should be.

"... apart from the hyper-dimensional portal," I continue. I wish she would let me finish my sentences.

In that very instant several of the devil-puppets drop from the trans-dimensional portal, and we are surrounded. This is what we have been looking for, and we spring into action most active, like a well oiled well rehersed balet troupe. On either side of me June and Louise leap into the fray, deliberately isolating the nearest, from the others and driving it toward me.

I simultaneously activate my flamethrower and the rocket pack I have borrowed from June. The devil-puppet erupts in an inferno of molten fire, as I roar upward, killing the rockets a fraction of a second after activating them, sailing through the air in a tight arc and finding myself grabbing tightly to one of the ropes that held my former foe just as it is being withdrawn into the blackness of the trans-dimensional portal.

"We're running out of options Henry," I hear Louise's words again, "We need to find out what's beyond the portal." Somehow the "We" seems to have become "me". I am curious as to how this occurred, but it matters not for I am Henry the Adequate, superhero and loner, forger of my own path, bringer of density... uh... destiny, bringer of many painful beatings to the forces of badness.

And then all is liquid darkness.


Blogger corpus said...

Ok you know it just hit me that you're the ONLY blog I read where I have NO IDEA about you. Ya never write about yo bad ass self. Which is okay and all. I was just making an observation.

Alright, enough talk. On with the story...

2:31 pm  
Blogger corpus said...

p.s. I'm planing on posting something about word verfication soon, very soon.

2:31 pm  
Blogger Ms Bees Knees said...

OMGOMGOMG!!! the gigantic-brained henry has been sucked up into the ink-black, hyper-dimensional portal. Poor baby!

btw ben, i would like for you to email me. would you be so kind? i was going to email you, but alas, you don't have one posted. tsk tsk!

2:39 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Isis: Well this isn't about me. I will be looking out for your post on the evils of word verification. :)

Ms Bees Knees:
Yeah, Henry's for it now. I will surely email you.

3:14 pm  

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