Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Henry at the Bank

"My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero!"

"How can I help you Henry," the bank person smiles with genuine warmth, as though she really wants to help me.

"Two days ago I accidentally left my card here. I have come to collect it."

"Ah, well any cards that are left for more than twenty-four hours are destroyed, and a new card issued. You should receive it in two to three weeks." The bank person smiles with genuine warmth, as though she really wants to help me, but won't. Clearly she enjoys moments like these.

"But how will I get money?"

The bank person smiles with genuine warmth, as though she really wants to help me, but just does not see what the problem is. "I'm sure you'll think of something."

I am beginning to feel a tiny bit upset. These kind of situations are awkward, and difficult, and embarassing, and infuriating, and cryptic. In order to avoid a confrontation I burn the bank to the ground, then rescue customers and staff from the burning building. A superhero, after all, must protect the innocent. Some of them are very grateful, and I collect several thousand dollars in rewards.

It's funny how things work out sometimes.


Blogger corpus said...

I got a good lauch outta that one. Hurt so much in my side, I nearly keeled over.

But thankyou anyways;-)

I think you might need a class in word verification....I don't know anyone who has as many problems as you. Poor thing!

1:46 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Thanks. And sorry about the pain and almost-keeledness.

You're right, I do need a class in word verification. The really sad thing is I'm not making it up.

1:55 pm  
Blogger corpus said...

That is a bit sad. But wait! Not to worry! It could be worse, you could be living in a country where you have the stupidest, most ignorant president in the world.

See, there's always a brighter side!

2:11 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Yeah, or I could be living in a country that bends over for the stupidest, most ignorant president in the world and cries out with joyous abandon "Yes! Do it to me Georgie!"

Bugger. Under our new anti-terrorism laws I can probably be arrested now.

2:18 pm  
Blogger corpus said...

Really? I was actually thinking seriously about moving to Australia (Sydney or Perth) after I recieve my masters.

Guess not?

2:22 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Don't let me put you off Isis. Australia is fantastic, if you can put up with all those bloody Australians.

Some recommended Australian movies:
Gallipoli (1981)
The Adventures of Barry Mckenzie (1972)
Bliss (1985).
The Castle (except in the DVD release they changed all the jokes so americans can understand them - those bastards)
The Bank (2001)

2:34 pm  
Blogger corpus said...

Thanks Ben! I will check those out. I still REALLY want to see Muriel's Wedding. That's one of my friends favourite films.

Have you seen it?

2:38 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Yeah it was good.

PS I'd be surprised if you sit through more than five minutes of Barry Mckenzie. Check it out at imdb first.

2:52 pm  
Blogger corpus said...

Will do, thanks.

2:57 pm  
Blogger corpus said...

So....what happens next?

Do tell!

1:58 am  
Blogger Ben said...

What happens next?
I dunno. Somebody's operating under the misapprehension that that I have some kind of plan :)

6:27 am  
Blogger corpus said...

But it's good to have a plan. I am on the edge of ill seat waiting. Wondering. Wanting!

10:57 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Perhaps you should have a nice cup of tea. Or go for a walk. Or something.

11:11 am  
Blogger corpus said...

Yeah, I guess I could, but it is REALLY cold outside. And don't you forget, I have a bad cold!

Hey who's that creep anon person preachin' at ya?

11:20 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Oh yeah, not summer there, is it.
The creapy anon person - sometimes it is me. The post on "Questions?" - that was I. Seemed like a valid question, just to get the ball rolling.

11:27 am  

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