Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Henry and the Warehouse - Take 3

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

Warehouses are boring. I go to the pub instead. "Got this scar fighting a giant chicken!" I slur charmingly at some random young lady. She leaves in a hurry. Perhaps I should begin by showing scars that are not normally covered by underwear.

Some guys are trying to start a fight, claiming I said or did or showed something to their girlfriends. I have no idea what they are talking about. Perhaps they mistake me for another superhero. I cleverly avoid a confrontation by burning the pub to the ground. This is ok, because there are plenty more pubs.

Now it is morning. I wake in bed, with extreme pain in my nether regions. Note to self: Next time you go out drinking if there is any chance whatsoever that you will be playing the Light Your Fart game, please disable flamethrower first.

19 Comments:

Blogger Jeff Pioquinto,SJ said...

nice blog. thanks

11:19 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greatest Blog Post. Please visit this site on distance long sbc
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1:51 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Mr anonymous,

Thank you. I have been missing my comment spammers lately. This is a comment spam friendly zone. I love you all.

I made a long distance connection once, but it gave me the clap.

ps Go fuck yourself.

8:56 am  
Blogger corpus said...

I would totally read this post, except for the fact that I have stupid cold and it is effecting my will to live & read funny blogs. I check it later after some Benydryl.

11:30 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very unique blog you have! I'm definitely going to bookmark you! I have a harley davidson site. You can find everything from harley davidson to Harley Davidson custom paint, aftermarket parts, clothing, t-shirts, patches and more. Please visit it.
Rod

11:33 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Complexity and Culture
In 'The Business of Meaning', an article in the premier issue of Ambidextrous magazine , Nathan Shedroff and Steve Diller talks about 'the deepest form of experience provided by a product or service', meaning - ...
Find out how to buy and sell anything, like things related to road construction of pa on interest free credit and pay back whenever you want! Exchange FREE ads on any topic, like road construction of pa!

11:34 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Microsoft to root out Sony spyware
Microsoft Corp. has joined a growing group of security software vendors who are treating Sony BMG Music Entertainment's controversial XCP copy protection software as a threat.
Hi, I was just blog surfing and found you! If you are interested, go see my auto related site. It isnt anything special but you may still find something of interest. Come in and check it out if you get time :-.

11:36 am  
Blogger Ben said...

Isis:

Sorry to hear about your unwellness. I recommend large quantities of (strictly legal) drugs.

11:51 am  
Blogger Ben said...

My Anonymous friends: What can I say, my cup runneth over.

It is good to hear that Microsoft is rooting Sony. (Australian slang: root = fuck. We think it is sooo funny when you americans root for your team).

Harley Davidsons suck. They are too fucking noisy, and they look stupid. The stupidest thing about them is the noxious turd that has been laid on the seat.

I tried to buy some road construction of pa, but the guy behind the counter looked at me like I was some kind of moron. Thanks, wanker.

Please go fuck yourselves. Actually go fuck each other. Whatever. Fuck off.

12:01 pm  
Blogger corpus said...

I still feel like total shit, but your super-hero story made me laugh. Spanks!

4:07 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

You're welcome. I aim to displease, but sometimes I miss and that's alright too.

4:45 pm  
Blogger corpus said...

This whole spam relationship thing is starting to confuse me. Part of you wants all this spam and the other part tells them to go fuck eaach other when they do come by. What the hell? Dude, you gotta make up your mind! :p

6:33 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Thanks for noticing :)

The explanation is actually very simple. I want the spam specifically so I can make fun of it and tell them to go fuck themselves. I like telling imaginary people to do that for the same reason I like clubbing baby seals - they can't fight back.

Seems reasonable to me.

6:52 pm  
Blogger corpus said...

Clubbing baby seals! Dear god, that's fucking cool.

Thanks for explaining-makes perfect sense now!

7:07 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

:)
You're welcome. It's the least I can do. And if you know me at all you'll know that I always do the absolute least amount possible.

7:16 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:39 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Yeah, and my audience is made up almost entirely of children, and baby seals. I will see what I can do.

9:40 pm  
Blogger Lorraine said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:35 am  
Blogger Ben said...

I am the egg-man

6:24 am  

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