Saturday, November 19, 2005

Henry and Louise - Together Again

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

"That was quick." I answer the door. "Oh, June, it's you. Come in."

"Who were you expecting, the pizza guy?"

"Yes that's right. June this is my sister Dizzy. Dizzy, June." June suddenly looks alarmed, and slightly frightened. "We're working together." Now June looks alarmed, slightly frightened, and quite confused.

"The name's Louise." Lou shoots me a look of rotten evil malevolence. It seems as though she is cranky with me about something or other.

"Henry?"

"June we can't defeat the puppet master without her." My super-sensitive super senses detect a tiny bit of tension in the room.

Fortunately at that moment the pizza arrives, which serves to diffuse the whole situation quite nicely. I pay the strange wooden looking pizza delivery guy then head back to where the women sit, silently regarding each other - June with an intense look of distrust, and Louise with an intense look of...

"Henry why is the pizza ticking?"

"Don't worry, the ad said half an hour or it's free, so that's probably an alarm that tells you when the time's up." These women worry too much. I think they need to relax, have some of the delicious smelling pizza.

"Henry you moron! It's a bomb!" Suddenly my keen sense of smell detects something other than pizza wafting from the box. There are explosives! Isn't it interesting how Louise somehow finds time to insult me, even while the last seconds of our existence tick by. Actually I detected the bomb long before Louise said anything, honest. Just didn't want to make her look bad.

We spring instantly into action, our super brains working at the speed of light, though not quite fast enough to cause my head to explode again. Thank goodness. Boy, was that a lucky escape. Anyway, Louise picks up a conveniently placed vase and hurls it with all her might at the nearest window. Almost simultaneously I throw the pizza-bomb like some delicious yet slightly unhealthy (due to it's tendency to splatter your remains all over the walls) frisbee.

The vase shatters the window as if it is made of glass, which it is, naturally enough, and a fraction of a second later the pizza-bomb sails out into the night and explodes, raining fire and shrapnel onto the street below. Some agonized screaming sounds come from outside, as though liquid fire had somehow rained down upon people, cars, and things.

"Wow. Guess I'd better order another pizza." I hit redial on the phone, not wanting to let a little thing like an assassination attempt spoil my evening.

[... to be continued]

2 Comments:

Blogger corpus said...

Yea! to be continued...So exciting! What in the world will Henry do next? :p

8:39 am  
Blogger Ben said...

I don't know. We'll have to wait and see.

8:49 am  

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