Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Henry and the Hospital

My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

I wake in the hospital after having my stomach pumped. The doctors say I have ingested enough poison to kill six ordinary hamsters. It was a bad pizza, apparently. Who would have guessed. Maybe next time I'll try a different takeaway.

In the bed on my left is a man who claims to have been hit by shrapnel from some kind of exploding fast food. A likely story. Almost as good an excuse as the old but reliable "I slipped in the shower and accidentally sat down on the the baseball bat."

The other beds in the ward are all inhabited by burn victims. Apparently there have been a lot of fires lately.

But enough of this. I am a superhero, and there is work to be done, innocent lives to be saved. I roam the hospital corridors in search of supervillains, the air-conditioning coolly caressing my cheeks. Why do these hospital gowns hang open at the back anyway?

It appears for a moment that I have spotted an old enemy, Doctor Demento, however it turns out to be Doctor Smith. Fortunately we are in a hospital, so he receives medical attention almost immediately.

Next thing I know I've been discharged from the hospital so fast it seems as though my head might explode. Fortunately it does not - I don't think I could go through that again. Presumably the hospital realizes that with my super healing powers I no longer require their ministrations, even though I am a bit dizzy and light-headed and fall down a few times on the way out the door which does, in fact, hit me on the arse on the way out.

Time to check out that suspicious takeaway, Puppeteer Joe's Famous Pizzeria, and maybe get some delicious pizza while I'm there.


Blogger corpus said...

duh-oh!! Stupid computer....

12:15 pm  
Blogger corpus said...

the hospital gowns hang open in the back for those that are incontenent. Yup. For those that can't hold their crap.

And that's my 2 cents.

4:55 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Well that sounds like Henry alright. :)

5:02 pm  

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