Men generally offer to buy me a drink. Some of them are probably trying to shag me, but mostly I think they're grateful for a good laugh.
Women usually send me photos of their tits, and I write back and say "Why'd you send me that?" and they say "I thought that's what you wanted" and I say "Nah, I'm more interested in your mind. I'm like this sensitive guy who's interested in a woman for who she is" and then they send me photos of flowers and stuff but meanwhile I'm posting their tits all over the internet.
That's life, you know.
Henry did not write this.