Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Henry's Sister

"Hi Sis. I need to talk to you. Can we meet someplace?"

"What's going on Henry?" We sit in the sidewalk cafe, I in my usual dashing superhero clothes, Dizzy in an outfit so tight it could be a scotsman. All the men in the place are looking at her. This makes me uncomfortable.

"How's things with you Dizzy?" I frown. "Are you still seeing that guy..."

"Which one?" I can tell she is enjoying this, dammit. She leans back and adjusts her breasts in a move clearly designed to increase my discomfort. It works.

"I don't know. Whichever one... You working at the moment?"

"What's this all about Henry? You've obviously got something on your mind. And I've got things to do, places to go, cities to sack and pillage..."

"Ah Ha!" I knew she would slip up sooner or later. "It is you!" I leap up from my chair and point dramatically at her, my outrage plain to all. Unfortunately all are still staring at my sister and have missed my masterful performance. "I will put an end to your diabolical plans once and for all Dizzy!"

"Sit down Henry. You can't touch me, and you know it. I am way out of your league, Brother. And another thing - stop calling me Dizzy. I hate that name." She stretches, hands behind head, causing her breasts to thrust out like a pair of really big breasts.

"I will find a way..."

"And another thing, Henry, I'm not seeing that guy any more. I'm not seeing any guys any more, because I'm a lesbian."

"What!" This is completely unbelievable. Well actually she is the only girl I ever met who understands the offside rule and I always wondered why she liked cricket so much...

"Apparently I'm a boy with all the girl bits in the right places...and that makes me adorable dammit!"

" I will stop you Dizzy, and it doesn't matter that you're my little sister. It doesn't matter how adorable you are, you are evil and I will stop your diabolical plan, for I am Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero!.... " I stand with my finger raised to the heavens, for dramatic effect. "Um... So... Sis.... What is your diabolical plan anyway?"

She laughs an evil laugh of pure evilness. I can tell she has been practising that laugh for a very long time. "Goodbye Henry."


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