Monday, October 31, 2005

Henry the Stalker

[This post refers to Henry in Research Mode]
My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero.

I stalk my prey. I am an expert stalker, due not only to my super speed and agility, but also to my ability to blend into the background and to move silently except for the sound of me dictating these notes. I stalk like a particularly talkitive cat.

Anyway, I keep to the shadows. I am not detected, of this I am certain. The quarry is utterly unaware of me as I slide effortlessly...

"Hello? Who's there?"

Uh... I freeze and melt into the background, so that I cannot be seen, and could not be seen even though the quarry were looking directly at me...

"I can hear you describing what you're doing, and .... yes I can see you there."

Bugger. But wait. I cannot be fooled that easily. This is merely a ploy to trick me into revealing myself.

"No, really. You're right there, between the industrial bin and the wall. Yeah, right there. What are you doing?"

Uh... "Miss Stanley I presume?" I step forward from the shadows, revealing myself at exactly the moment I had intended to.

"Mr."

"What?"

"Mr Stanley. I'm Mr Stanley."

Checking my notes... "It says Miss."

"Well, as you can plainly see... not female." The facial hair seems to support this. Also the fact that his trousers, and underwear, are now down about his ankles does allow certain clues as to a lack of femaleness to become apparent. "You like?"

"Uh... So... I must be leaving now."

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stalking is a serious crime, asshole. Get a life.

7:07 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

You are my favourite AC

6:52 am  

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