Henry and the Badness
Anyway, this is bad. I run, with all my superhuman speed powers turned to maximum. I sprint, desperation evident in the straining of my mighty muscles, and in the way my enormous penis swings like a great and extremely agitated pendulum to slam against each thigh in turn. Ow.
I grab the receptacle by the nearest handle and drag it groaning behind me like an enraged dinosaur, but I am not slowed. I am power, intensity, speed.
I scream to a halt, my heels leaving a furrow several inches deep in the footpath. "Bugger!" Tail lights in the distance winking at me, the garbage truck turns the corner, and is gone.
I go back inside and put some clothes on.